What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
12.06.2025 03:16
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
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Make Nazis afraid again!
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Can I fix a fridge leak myself, or should I call a pro?
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Have you ever had a scary dream about a loved one or friend soon after their death?
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Why does my vagina and around my butthole itch? I don't have weird discharge and I'm still a virgin.
TEXT:
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Does having the wrong address on my car insurance invalidate my policy?
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.